Relaxing in Caribou Coffee

Today has been quite a wonderful day. I was able to wake up early, spend a great deal of time in prayer and in Scripture reading and mediation, as well as get to hang out with my old college roommate Kenny. …Nevertheless…

There are few things better than relaxing with my wife, enjoying the friendly atmosphere in a warm coffee house.

There are few things better in my life than relaxing with my wife.

God is so good to me. He has blessed me with a woman who not only allows me to relax, but goes out of her way to make sure I’m relaxing. Yeah. I’m blessed. I don’t want to take her for granted, so I write, proclaiming God’s blessing. I do not write to boast or gloat, but to give thanks and inspire the giving of thanks. It is important to state that giving thanks does not hinge on the extent to which something merits thanksgiving. My wife Lexie is indeed worthy of my gratitude (though she would redirect all credit to God [which blesses my soul]), however, even if she did nothing that made me grateful for her, I should still be grateful, and recognize that I am blessed to have a wife. Let me explain.

I said, “even if she did nothing,” and I focus my explanation on this implication of action.

My premise here is that the most grateful gratitude is that gratitude which acknowledges position before action.

Thus I can say that I am grateful for my wife because she is my wife and not because she is a good wife (although she is). She will be my wife regardless of her performance as my help-meet and as my wife I am commanded by God to give thanks for her, for she is a blessing from God!

This does beg the question: why then does God “bless” men with horrible wives? It might be because said men are in need of a horrible lesson; namely, that they are horrible men. If you consider your wife to be horrible, it’s more than likely because you’ve been or are being a horrible husband. Die this moment to yourself, to your wants, plans, and even to your needs, and live to serve her, even if it kills you and your wife will follow suit. Unfortunately, such sacrificial service is supernatural and only truly performable by those who are empowered by demons, seeking to further the kingdom of darkness through self-righteous works of servitude for personal recognition, OR filled with the Holy Spirit and made content in Him to give everything without expectation of receiving anything in return, having received everything already in Christ. The only difference is that the former will not hold up under great pressure and the latter can endure all things.

Lexie is my wife. I love her because God loves her through me. Therefore, my love for her is for her, not for what she does right. Likewise, my gratitude is in who she is (my wife), and not what she does.

Marriage is not about being happy. This means that marriage isn’t even about selflessly serving your spouse. That’s simply what happens in marriage. Marriage is about conforming to the image of Christ, as it was designed. There are things about Lexie that directly conflict with my personal weakness. There are things that she does that can make me sad, annoyed, or even angry, but most of the time she’s doing nothing wrong. This is because marriage is about conformity to Christ and God has designed Lexie to mold me in this way.

In the end, I’m just happy to be here with her, in this happy little coffee shop, relaxed and content in the goodness of God for my wife.